Author(s): Kayla Small

Music

At 17, I became a heroin addict. This is the true memoir of how heroin became my boyfriend, my best friend, and my whole life."Replacing my tan skin was now an over pale, greyish color. I decided to wear my black hair straight and though it had gotten longer, it was no longer bouncy - just wavey and turning lifeless. I had gotten really skinny over the time of my breakup to pre-dope, but now I could see hip bones when I walked; when I slept I saw ribs during each inhale. Most of the time, probably because I was high, I thought I looked amazing. Tonight, I cried instead. I thought I was the most hideous person in the world. I was no longer the person people came to for advice (except for the select few who I didn't see often who couldn't tell the change in me), instead I had become the person who's facebook I'd lurk for the latest drama. I remember thinking people who did drugs and got into fights and didn't give a fuck about anything were cool, and now that I was living and breathing in that lifestyle I hated it. I wasn't ready. I still lived off of the state's insurance, I couldn't adult yet if I tried."